Focus Partner Engagement Model
Focus Partners engage with one another on a one-on-one, peer-to-peer basis, serving as "accountability partners" for one another.
We've found that having a Focus Partner-accountability partner provides a bit of the social pressure that improve the odds that you will actually show up and do what you say you are going to do. We've found that the key to change is to first consistently "show up" and slowly build action taking momentum starting with even tiny, sustainable next action steps.
By engaging in the process of Focus Partnering, you can eventually develop better habits resulting in a more positively focused, fulfilling and happier life, whatever that may mean to each individual personally or professionally.
By learning to focus on the right things in the right way, Focus Partners mindfully support one another to make the most of one’s strengths, resources and capabilities while “minding one’s bliss” in the service of the greater good.
As Focus Partners continue to engage in the conversations that matter and participate in an ongoing, collective learning process, they are able to share insights and best practices to help the Mindyourbliss community grow and better serve its members.
The following will serve as guidelines -rules of engagement for your daily-weekly Focus Partner check-ins (Focus Calls):
Refrain from advice giving or ‘storytelling' - stick to asking and answering questions. Focus partnering is essentially about "process" based accountabilities and not about necessarily filling in content details of what you're trying to achieve. For example, it's sufficient to say I'm trying to develop the habit of going to the gym 3-4 times a week without going into the details of your particular work-out.
Or you may have had a situation where you may have had an unpleasant encounter with a boss or co-worker. It's sufficient to say I had an unpleasant experience and became emotionally reactive and responded in ways that did not serve me without going into all of the gory details of what you said, he said or your interpretation of the situation between your boss or co-worker.
Practice mindful listening…listen as if it really matters with your Focus Partner…moment by moment…while seeing this as a golden opportunity to practice both being in the moment and suspending any judgments. Try to listen as if you are listening with their ears, not yours.
Express views if asked with moderation, courtesy, detachment, and candor.
Engage and have fun in a spirit of selfless service, love and curiosity.
Maintain Confidentiality-Keep the content of your discussion between you and your Focus Partner private. It’s an extremely important aspect of building trust between the Focus Partners. By demonstrating trustworthiness and discretion, Focus Partners can trust and become more open with one another.
Be mindful and focus on the needs of the other. Go beyond even the perspective of how can ‘I’ best serve my Focus Partner but rather come from the place of: "how does my Focus Partner best need to be served".
It’s a subtle but meaningful distinction that prioritizes your Focus Partner as the focal point rather than falling back into our default mode of placing our self at the center of attention.
Recommended that for the first week or so just focus on practicing "mindful breathing"
"In the last 24hrs, how was the experience of paying attention to your breath as a way to practice and strengthen mindfulness?"
Whatever the answer from none to 15-20 minutes and beyond etc. follow up with "what value did you gain from that?"
2. "How is your new habit of _______(another tiny habit change that you may be working on) going?"
3. "Did you take time to prioritize? For example, making lists and prioritizing your top five action items can be one way to sharpen focus. How did you do on your top five things to be accomplished today? What value are you gaining from that?"
“The shining spark of truth cometh forth only after the clashing of differing perspectives”. Differing perspectives can come from the different questions that may be asked of us by our Focus Partner other than the ones we may come up with ourselves.
As a result, we have the opportunity to generate new insights and clarify our own thinking about the relevant issues at hand.
The twin pillars of Mindful Listening and Mindful Questions are also like two wings of a bird with both wings needing to be equally strong in order “for the bird of insight to take flight”.